Couple's Travel to Solo Travel: Going Our Separate Ways
Two years have passed nearly, since Taran and I left the UK and began this roller-coaster of a travel adventure in Australia.
Seeing as two years is all us POM’s get before we get thrown back out into the world tanned, kicking and screaming, it’s time to plan for our next destination.
Asia was very much the loose plan for a while; hit up all the usual spots, relax, enjoy some of our last Aussie wages.
And then one day recently, during our big Aussie Outback road-trip, we had a conversation about some stuff that had been playing on both our minds, and that brings us to this blog post…
In around a week I, Hannah, will be flying to New Zealand, and Taran, will be flying to Thailand.
No, we didn’t make a boo-boo and book the wrong flights, we have actually decided that some solo travelling is calling us and now's the perfect time to embark on individual adventures.
When you are with someone for 4 years, 2 of which spent in constant close confines, you can inevitably get a little lost in one another.
Sometimes you are so deep in a set of routines, from routine affection to routine bickering, that you no longer feel as connected or as enriched by your surroundings.
You can start to not bring out the best in one another, or maybe one of you feels held back, or the other feels like they are doing the holding back.
You might be unable to remember the last time you did something on a whim of your own choice, in the exact manner you wanted to do so.
You might also feel like you are going along with certain plans that don’t truly fit, and you end up expressing this in passive-aggressive ways.
Sometimes you argue over irrelevant things purely because there’s an uncomfortable truth sitting in the pit of your stomach that feels too scary to confront.
You basically end up needing space. Space, to as corny as it sounds, to find yourself again.
There won't be any shouting into the void 'WHO AM IIII?', but maybe there will be the time and peace to ask that question by living out each day exactly as you want to.
Space to be a little selfish, develop your own interests, meet different people that you might not usually meet.
Space to remind yourself of what you need and what you want.
The Nature of Love
This need to be alone, of course, can happen in any relationship, but when travel is thrown into the mix, it can present different challenges to what we might have gone through had we been co-habitating in England.
Much of our 2 years has been spent in that place of stress in-between 'backpacker' jobs, when your wages stop and suddenly it feels like the fun does to.
There’s very little security or comfort, even less so than in ‘normal’ life, which for some is the appeal of perpetual travel, whilst for others, like myself, it is a constant source of stress.
I don’t enjoy moving between 2-3 different jobs throughout a year, none of which I truly want to do but merely have to if I don’t want to be forced to return home.
I also don’t enjoy when my partner is unable to find a good gig and things become very unbalanced as a result.
Its upsetting when all you want to do is travel but one of you doesn’t have the funds to do it, but, you are already in it, already amongst other travellers in a place you want to be, yet you are held back because there are two bank accounts to think about.
It can basically suck trying to juggle the differences in your approach to travel.
I wouldn’t say that I am a luxury traveller to Taran’s budget traveller, but I probably do feel more stressed by financial stuff, and I have always been that way inclined.
It isn’t just about money; it really boils down to two people suddenly realizing they want to do travel differently.
At the core is a difference in our goals; I want to start building my career and I want to combine that with travel, whereas Taran is happy to just keep riding the wave of laid-back travels and jobs.
I hope that we can both feel satisfied following our own chosen paths for a while, no matter where we end up with our goals.
Like what you're reading?
Join our email gang for bonus content and conversation.
Travel Didn’t Ruin Everything
It’s possible that travel hasn’t wedged a knife between us, and we are just living out a normal situation in a slightly different (and heightened) environment.
In fact, travel has brought us closer through such a big and beautiful shared experience.
Beyond all the doubtful moments or feelings of anxiety, there has been a solid reason to keep at this.
I only have to scroll through my photo’s or read this blog to be reminded of what a truly insane and amazing collection of memories we have made together.
At this point our love and respect for each other is immense.
Our certainty and trust for one another is quite lovely. We have in fact felt very happy and connected since we made the choice to separate as funny as that sounds.
It’s possible that we are living out the idea of ‘If you love someone, you let them go’ and it feels right in some way. It feels grown-up and healthy.
It feels wrong some days though, when we are laughing and holding hands.
Why on earth would be want to be apart for any length of time?
Why would we want to be away from what we have?
Its this simple: our desire for each others happiness is superseding our need to live in one another’s pockets, because right now, our goals are a little too different for this lifestyle to continue and thrive.
Love for one another is not enough when two people stand at a cross-roads and can’t seem to pick the same route. Its logistical, not emotional.
Compatibility might not last a lifetime, even if it has been there for 4 good years, or even 40.
Sometimes people have these moments of realization, and the love doesn’t just stop in this scenario, it just has to be channelled differently.
Who knows where our individual travels will lead us. The uncertainty is part of the reality of choosing adventure, solo, or as a couple.
We both want to return to the UK for Christmas, but after that, things are unclear. Its likely Taran will join me in NZ at some stage this year, but yet again, uncertainty and spontaneity is the nature of this travel lark.
Future Of The Blog
We sincerely love what we do, and it’s pretty amazing to write this blog together, for Taran to make his films and showcase his amazing photo’s. So even in this time of being separate, this blog will continue on.
There will still be beautiful beaches to photograph, mountains to climb, hostel antics to gripe about and truly wondrous moments to be had.
I will be writing from a new perspective, that of solo-female traveller, something I feel truthfully terrified about. For an independent-minded person, I have gotten very used to having someone always around…
Taran too, is a little scared, and feels the same expected separation anxiety, but I know he will make the best of it all, and as usual, befriend people easily (he could find common ground with Donald Trump).
And on that note..
Thank you, to all whom have followed us these past 3 years, and I hope you all know that we are excited to share what comes next.
Thanks for reading!
Hannah and Taran here. We hail from Southern England, where we met online and are now realizing our mutual passion for travel here at Nomad'erHowFar. We discuss Nomadic Living, Simplifying your Life and Long-term Travel, to empower, motivate and inspire our readers. Get to know us here!
Be social and come follow us across the virtual world!